Monday, January 4, 2010

His secret chicken affair....

How do you know when you are getting older? You begin to talk about your health. When I was younger I remember hearing my older relatives talk nothing but health issues. Who was in the hospital, what type of medications they were on, the pains and aches in their back, and of course, who recently died. I would think to myself...being old is the pits. All you ever talk about is health.
Now that I'm in my thirties I've become more aware of my health and others around me. I'm a little obsessed with health these days. I'm constantly reading the calories, trans fats, sugar, preservatives, etc. on the packaged food at the grocery store. I've made it my mission to eat whole food grains and produce (organic). And to cook more healthy meals at home rather than eating out. My husband on the other hand hasn't fully gotten on board with the healthy eating habits. No, he's actually been putting weight on rather than taking it off. He was born and raised in New Orleans. And everyone knows that nothing can kill you faster than a Louisiana diet.

My husband turns 40 this year and all of sudden it has become my mission to make sure he breaks some of those unhealthy eating habits and start weening him off fried food, french fries, and chocolate (pretty much in that order). Knowing that he isn't getting enough fiber in his diet I've began forcing him to drink a glass of fiber in the morning. It's almost like getting a small child to take his/her medicine with the look of disgust on his face. He usually tries to run off before I pour the glass but I've caught onto his escape route and road blocked him. His mother, my MIL, did a horrible job making him eat his fruits and veggies. Now it's like a WWF wrestling smack down to get him to eat anything vegetable like. It was either broccoli or fiber. He chose the fiber supplement.
So, this has been going on for almost six weeks now. I began cooking and packing his lunches. I even included healthy snacks. But for some reason I noticed my hubby has been putting on a few pounds. At first I didn't notice right away but when he was working in the yard I noticed his favorite T was fitting a little snug. Then at Christmas his new shirts were also a bit tight. How on earth is he gaining weight when he's eating more healthy meals I thought......

Over the weekend my hubby and I ran some errands. Now I have given up fast food for nearly 3 months but sometimes will stop by to grab a drink (if I'm out). This weekend we were driving down the street and I noticed I forgot my bottled water at home. I told my husband to stop by the local Popeyes a few blocks away. He tried to talk me out of it. I got frustrated with him and told him to go through the drive thru because I was thirsty. Again, he tried to talk me out of it. Finally I asked why he was trying to keep me from getting a drink from the fast food eatery. He decided to turn into the parking lot and get in line rather discuss it any longer.

Here's what happened.........

We pull up to the window to pay and wait patiently for my drink. When suddenly a pimpled face teenage boy sticks his head out of the window, "Hey, we saw you pulling in so we put the chicken on the fryer for you. Your number 2 will be ready in a minute."

My husband (who turns white) gives the kid a stern look. Obviously the kid took the cue because he immediately looks uncomfortable as he peers over to the passenger seat at me. At this time I lean over the console to get a better glance of the boy.

Me- "What? Chicken!" I peer into my husband's deer in the headlights expression. "You've been eating Popeyes fried chicken this whole time?!!!"

I turn my focus to the now intimidated boy's face as he begins to turn red and sweat. "Tell me, how often does my husband come through here?"

He looks at my husband and says with a question, "twice a week?" My husband gives him a little shake of the head as to not tip me off but it's too late. I'm onto them.

I point the boy, "You better not lie to me. Save yourself, because he's already up in his neck in number 2." He sheepishly smiles and disappears behind the glass window.
"Blank Blank Blank." I call my husband by his full name. "I don't believe you've been eating all that fried chicken. What have you been doing with the lunches I've been sending with you?"

My husband's demeanor quickly changes into pride as he says, "I'm not lying to you when I say I've eaten them."
Me- "Are you telling me you ate the chicken and the lunches I've sent?"

My husband puffs his chest up and smiles- "Yup, I ate the lunches because I knew one day you would ask me and I could say I did without lying."

This is my life, y'all.........


  1. LOL!!! I know it literally isn't a funny issue...but just reading it made me laugh. At least your hubby eats his packed lunch. My hubby will pack his lunch...and then will shamelessly call me me up at around 2 or 3 PM and tell me that he decided to go out to eat with his coworkers vs. eating the lunch he packed. Then...he'll always make sure to add, "Don't worry...I will eat the packed lunch tomorrow." Meanwhile, here I am at home...trying to fend off my fast food and sweet cravings...and eating whatever I can find in our cabinets. Men (rolling my eyes as I say this).

  2. OMG!!!! This is hilarious! I needed a laugh today honey! You guys are too cute! At least he was eating your lunch too lol...Kori xoxo

  3. All I can say is that now I am hungry for Popeye's! I know that's not the moral of the story but we don't have any here so I have been going through withdrawal since the last time I ate at one (8-9 years ago)!


  4. Gigi, I am laughing so hard!!!! This is too funny. I can't believe the teenage staff recognized his car and started frying a fresh batch. HA HA HA! Now, he IS a loyal customer.

    I'm glad your hubby has been eating the lunches you made. Early in my parents marrige, my dad sold his homemade lunches at the office. Nice!

  5. Haha, what a cheating husband you got there! :)